The truth About Why Men Blow Hot and Cold
One reason is you allow him to do this. If you continue dating, or remain in a relationship with this man, well it tells him it’s alright to treat you this way. He behaves badly, you reward him with your company. He manages to keep you on the back burner. You still wonder though why he does it in the first place, not to mention how you wonder about how he really feels about you.
I can tell you how he doesn’t feel about you. A man that runs hot and cold, here one day gone the next. One day he is super sweet on the phone, the next day it’s like you are a bother hot and cold ac lg
. This man does not see you as a priority in his life. If he did, he would be scared to death to run hot and cold. He would be scared you would be gone. A man who treats you like a princess one day and a peasant the next does not adore you and probably doesn’t see you as his Miss Forever.
Guys have learned that there are a lot of women out there who will tolerate this behavior. It’s the women before you that may have trained him this way. They put up with it. He learned he really didn’t have to do a lot to keep a woman around. He doesn’t really value these women, but mostly because they don’t value themselves.
These hot and cold guys will keep you in limbo for a while, but eventually they almost always disappear. What makes them disappear usually is a woman comes along who may present them with a higher degree of difficulty or a new challenge. He moves on in search of the chase. Sad though, they often toss you a phone call or text still, just to keep you in the loop. Crumbs, just crumbs. You are best off not to bother to bend over to pick them up. This uncertainty is painful and frustrating. You may have a great date, the passion is out the roof, the connection feels so strong. Then poof, he vanishes for days or even weeks at a time, then comes back again. What on earth is he doing and why.
He could be keeping you on the back burner. He could be just freaking out because he doesn’t want to get in a relationship or he thinks he doesn’t want to. One of the main reasons why men blow hot and cold though is because we allow them to do so. We take him back as we are swooned by his words when he comes back from disappearing. A man instinctively knows this, so it tells him it’s OK to blow hot and cold. If you tolerate it, he has no reason to change.
A man that blows hot and cold very well may be a man who will not be there for you when the chips are down. If he can’t remain consistent during good, normal times, what will he be like if the going gets tough? Will he leave you to deal with issues alone only to resurface when things have straightened out?
If you find yourself asking or nagging him about this behavior you are wasting your breath. This doesn’t work on the hot and cold man and actually can cause him to be more extreme with it. Men avoid emotions like the plague. If you ask him or keep bringing it up, he sees it as talking about feelings. Ask any man does he want to talk about his feelings. He is going to say NO, 9 times out of 10.
Trust me, he already knows he is not treating you right, he doesn’t need you to remind him. That is playing more of a mother role to him and men don’t fall in love with their mothers. The best way to deal with men that blow hot and cold is to step away, pull back when he goes cold. Don’t let him back in so easy. This tells him you recognize his bad behavior without saying a word.